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adayinmyworldsite

Navy wife, mom, and all around chaos

Month

October 2016

The mommy example

( Image is of a graphic image that says “our influence as a mother is powerful. Don’t waste it. Little eyes are watching you.” this image is not mine, I found it on pinterest.)

As a working mom, even if it is part-time,  in an area with no real family or friends finding someone to help on days that the husbands schedule and mine over lap. Knowing I work two days that my husband can’t be there for Mini-me and I have to work both of those days, its crazy and stressful. Thankfully I found a wonderful lady with a little one that is willing to work with me and watch Mini-me.

It helps that I left one of my jobs, I couldn’t handle doing both jobs and still trying to be a good mom and wife. Doing two jobs, working 50+ hours every week, it’s just impossible to be a human let alone a human with other humans depending on me. Living everyday completely exhausted and burned out wasn’t leaving much of an example for Mini-me to follow. Right now with all the changed in our life, she needs to look up to a mom who is all there with her. A mom who is working to make life better but is completely aware and capable, not exhausted and cranky. Not a mom who is stressed and running out of steam every moment of the day she isn’t at work.

So I needed to leave something left for my home life, and I needed to show an awesome example for my Mini-me. Everyday I work to do just that, show her everything a mom can do, everything a woman can do. I show her my strength and her dad can show her how awesome a career is. Of course I’m working towards having a career of my own.

So here’s to another day of pushing forward, of being a good example for the little one following my lead. May everyone leave a good example for their little ones to follow.

 

Utter exhaustion 

(Image is of the trees along my daily walk with the leaves changing colors.)

Exhaustion has many faces and many symptoms. It is the feeling in your bones that you just can’t make another move, it is that feeling in your mind that prevents cognitive thinking. For me it is almost always that feeling of being on the verge of a panic attack, the speed up heart rate and that heavy feeling in my chest. It is the inability to relax. 

Today I am exhausted, my body is fighting the remnants of a cold, my mind is fighting a migraine, and my heart is heavy from missing my family for the last two days. I have 6 more days until I get a break from work, six full work days until I have dinner with my family. Six nights my daughter goes to bed with only my husband home, six nights I miss tucking her in. It’s not the first time I’ve worked several consecutive days and missed bed times, and it won’t be the last. 

I’m proud to be a working mom, I’m proud to be able to contribute to my family’s financial well being. But I’m sad that it comes with such a cost. My hope is that by this time next year I won’t need to  miss so much, that I will be home for dinner more often than I’m away. My hope is that this stress and exhaustion will be completely worth the financial aid it brings. 

So until the day comes that this is all worth it, I will be exhausted and drained. I will enjoy the fact I get my mornings with my Mini-Me and a few minutes alone with my husband. I will find the little things to make it all worth while. 

Work

(Image is a picture of Jax being lazy, which is what I wish I could do!)

I’m not officially a manager in training at a sports store in my area. It is a wonderful opportunity, a great chance to learn and get ahead in any career feild I choose when I decided what I want to be when I grow up. I appreciate this opportunity and I am wildly excited for the chance to learn and do something new. A job with benefits I don’t really need as well as eventual paid time off and a full time schedule. But no flexibility with my hours, and a boss who can’t teach and only working night shifts.

However the manager, well he sucks. But at the job I had first the managers are awesome. They are also offering me a promotion and a raise along with better hours. I work with people I like and get along with, at a job I have fun doing. It’s not a big deal job or great wages but I fell competent when I go to work. 

So how do I choose between the great job with the list of benefits that I am not positive I can do or the job I already sure I can do and enjoy. The first job that will give the money to help support my family and get ahead but I’ll have no family time or the job I enjoy with flexible work hours and definitely have time for my family, the pay is just slightly less. 

I hate the situation and I hate having to make a choice like this. Here’s to the next month of figuring out what to do and how to do it! 

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