image

(Image says be awesome today)

So my anxiety has been murderous the last few days. I got into a rare argument with the husband (and by rare I mean in three years it’s happened like four times, pretty lucky I know). All because I thought he was mad at me for forgetting to do something simple, he wasn’t mad until I snapped at him (defensive is the word he used). I honestly didn’t even know what that meant and it made me mad as hell. How can I be doing something when I don’t even know what it is? Well after spending as much time as I possibly could away from him and googling what it was, I realized he was right. Several years of mental abuse from my ex taught me to be defensive. And that wasn’t my husbands fault. That’s what no female wants to admit when they’re angry. So of course that brings my anxiety up and going.
So I have spent everyday sense then exhausted, senses on full alert, scattered brain, stressed, and just not really loving my life. Yesterday I couldn’t remember if I packed my kid a lunch for school, so I stressed until she came home. I forgot to buy dog food so my dog went without the good stuff for dinner (he got fed but not as much or what he normally gets), mostly because I knew I couldn’t handle going to a store. I spent last night doing everything I knew to calm down. It took my lovely gift of a daughter coming out from her room when she couldn’t sleep just for cuddles. Apparently I needed to cuddle into her innocent arms just as much as she needed mine, and just breath. We turned the tv off and layer on the couch, then we stretched our muscles. She went to bed and I went to shower then bed. It was therapeutic just to hold my baby girl and just breath.

image

(Image is of a Harry Potter coloring book and box of crayons. They probably helped the stress too!)